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Monday, March 17, 2014

Self Awareness

She really shouldn't be surprised by people. Human nature is always the same, what can I get? Who can I get it from? and How long will it last?

We are taught this from birth. Think about it for a moment. What can you get if you cried? Milk. Who could you get it from? Your mom. How long will it last? Your mom usually decided for you.

Take the same concept to everything else like school you'll get an education, you'll get it from teachers, how would it last well that depended on you really.

So when she met him she applied the same concept what did she want. Was her first question to herself. That was easy she wanted to be happy. What she wanted was unorthodox some would say taboo. All her life she was looking for something she really couldn't understand.

When she was a child it started really early really. She started pinching herself hard enough to bruise. Her mom had caught her once and questioned her till they both were crying. Her mom (like any other person who couldn't understand) took her to doctors to be more specific psychologist. And for awhile it seemed to the mother at least that the problem had subsided. Little did the mother know that her daughter had become the master of hiding her need to hurt herself.

By the time she was in her last year of college she was so good at hiding her need for pain that not even her best friend knew. That late at night when no one was looking she would go to the bathroom in her dorm with a tiny cute little butterfly pin she had was also a blade. She would make small cuts on the inside of her thighs never too deep just enough to feel.

She wasn't stupid was actually going to continue her schooling and become a child physiologist. Her need for pain was just that she liked no loved pain and had learned she also wanted to serve. Her conclusion was she was a submissive and not just that but she wanted to a Slave to a Master. But school had taken so much of her time she really couldn't pursue her needs till after she always thought.

She had joined a variety of different communities on-line. Some very interesting others just looked like people just wanted to pretend play at it you could say. She had fun when she could go on which was rarely cause her schedule was so full.

One weekend that she actually was able to go on a spend sometime with friends she had made on-line. She met this man who had claim to be a Master. She decided why not have a conversation with him didn't really take him serious. He had posted this wonderful picture she thought of himself and she figured was a model tied up very lovely.

That was another thing that fascinated her about BDSM the art of it was very stimulating. So she said so and that started a three day binger talking they went from commenting to emailing to phone call in a space of three hours.

They had taken exactly 8 hours sleep as soon as her opened her phone was ringing and there he was soft but stern voice.

Him: Good morning

Her: (giggling) ummm hi

You hear his soft laughter when he heard her. She must've just woken up he thought. He owned his own business built custom made fetish toys benches, crosses, crops, etc..
She sat up in bed explained she needed to brush her teeth and that she'd call him right back.

Him: I'll give you an hour and I'll call you back

Something inside her melted at his command.

Her: Yes....ummm yeah ok

This went on all weekend and for several months more. Then when school finished she had decided to move to the east coast where she would finish her studies. Never expecting him to go with her. They had met a few times and those were the best in her life. She had stopped cutting herself. She was so happy she thought and for a second she wanted to stay, but she was scared that maybe one day she'll mad at him for never finishing her schooling.

So when the day came for her to go he had promised to be in town to see her off. She thought they would at least make it a weekend but her ride was going to be long and boring and she knew she would cry most of it anyway.

She heard his car horn downstairs running down she never expected to see a a u haul attached to the back of his truck.

You see while she was busy packing and missing already be had moved his business to the city she was moving to and already had enough business to keep him busy. Had put his house on the market and bought a house where they would make a life for themselves.

The moral is this:

Distance shouldn't get in your way to find your own happiness.

Pride shouldn't get in the way of your happiness.

And when you find that person that brings out the best parts of yourself you hold them close and don't let them go. Cause someone else will find beauty in what was once yours.

So she found out what she wanted. Found out who can give it her. And hopefully it will last forever.

END!

1 comment:

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